Need
by krackensan
Summary: Roy shows Ed what he's missing. Angst. Yaoi


Kracken

Disclaimer:I don't own them and I don't make any money off of this.  
Warning:Male/male sex, graphic, language, angst

Need

Full Metal Alchemist Roy/Ed

Failure did not look well on Edward Elric, Roy Mustang decided as he watched the young man slumped in the chair of his study. The fire crackled in it's hearth, throwing shadows everywhere and giving the room a close, intimate feel. Gold eyes glared, daring Roy to criticize, to admonish, to point out that his quest for the philosopher's stone was fruitless.

That quest had cost Edward so very much in pain and loss already, Roy thought, and it was fast stripping away Edward's youth, using him up and making him old before his time. It wasn't right, Roy decided, that someone should lose their childhood like that and then turn young adulthood to ash afterward. What would be left, he wondered, if Edward ever completed his quest? What would he do without that all encompassing goal?

Roy imagined an Edward Elric adrift. It could only end badly... unless he could make Edward see that there was something after sacrifice, after heartache, after saving his brother, Alphonse.

"A man who never allows himself to feel, can lose the ability to do so," Roy said at last as he moved closer to Edward's chair. The firelight caught on the young man's gold hair, shimmering.

"I feel," Edward replied bitterly and began to stand. "If you have nothing to say, Al needs me."

"You need as well," Roy replied and gently kept Edward seated with a hand on his shoulder. Edward looked at it with an even fiercer glare, but Roy could see his uncertainty. "Even steel will only carry so much weight before it bends and breaks. You need, Edward Elric and, if you continue to deny it, it will be disastrous."

Edward scoffed, tossing his short braid back over his shoulder and flaring his nose. "What are you saying? That I'm weak? That I'm going to fail? That my quest to give Al back his body is hopeless?"

"Everything that you have accomplished has been towards that goal," Roy said as he leaned down and put his hands on the arms of Edward's chair. "You are a genius, the youngest State Alchemist. You have power, position, and prospects. You use it up, though, in this quest of yours, making enemies and destroying your future along the way. I know that you will say that the cost is not too high, that you gladly pay it, but... what comes afterward? What happens when Alphonse regains his body and lives his life? He won't need you to sacrifice for him any longer. You will be free... but free for what? What have you left for yourself? What future? What hope? You refuse to feel, refuse to look ahead, and refuse to live any sort of life."

Edward glared at the fire now and his hands clenched as if he longed to slap them together and transmute Roy into something unpleasant. Roy tensed, wishing that he had kept his gloves on, but he trusted that Edward's almost naive sense of honor would help him stay under control. Roy wasn't disappointed. The human hand and the auto mail one relaxed. Roy didn't think he was wrong when he thought that he saw Edward's eyes glitter wetly before h turned his face away.

Very slowly, Roy inched his hands forward. His fingers touched flesh and metal. The auto mail was smooth and oddly warm when he had expected it to be cold and harsh. He leaned close until his lips were almost touching Edward's ear. "You need. Let yourself live your life, if even for a short while."

Edward scrubbed at his eyes with his human hand and then cleared his throat as he looked at Roy again. "What are you saying?" he asked roughly.

Roy lifted a hand and, very gently, caressed Edward's cheek. "Come with me. Be human. Be who you are, for yourself..."

"With you?" Edward blinked, not understanding. "You make my life miserable, why should I listen to you?"

"Miserable?" Roy snorted. "I've protected you, guided you, and made certain that you've lived another day."

Edward sneered, but it was weak and he wasn't flinching away when Roy cupped his cheek.

"A few hours," Roy urged. "In this room, you can forget duty and quest. Here, everything will be forgotten. Here," He motioned towards an alcove where his bed lay, "you can need and feel and no one will ever know."

"You will," Edward grated.

"Yes," Roy replied and nothing more, letting Edward make up his own mind.

"Why?" Edward demanded. "Why me?"

Roy smiled gently. "I think you know. I think you've sensed what's between us, and felt the same, even when you hated me for what I've had to do."

"That hate hasn't gone away," Edward protested hotly.

Roy took Edward's hand and pulled the young man to his feet. "Hate is hate, but you are deeper than that, smarter."

Edward blushed suddenly and looked uncomfortable. "I..."

Of course Roy had suspected him of having some small affair with Hughes, the two always together when they could manage it, but Edward's expression was telling him something different. He hadn't even allowed himself that much. How he must have been hurting, inside and out, closing himself off from his humanity while searching to restore his brother's.

Affairs among the men weren't a shock or uncommon. They were soldiers often far from home and in the field. Roy didn't have to deal with explaining or justifying his actions. He simply had to convince... and that might not be a small feat where Edward Elric, and his legendary stubbornness, were concerned.

Roy stepped forward, took hold of Edward's chin, and brought their lips together. He saw the gold eyes fly wide and then half close in a daze as Roy expertly invaded Edward's mouth with his tongue. He tasted like the wine that Roy had served him earlier.

"Say, yes," Roy said, delved into his mouth again, and then said, "Say, no." Another deep tongue kiss.

Edward's human hand locked into Roy's shirt. He twisted hard, catching some skin in the process. Roy could feel Edward's heat, feel his hot blush, and hear his harsh breathing. The mind might argue about hate and duty, but the body had been denied too long and Roy was well aware that he was not without some physical beauty. Edward was finding the combination irresistible.

Roy back up and then led Edward to the bed. It was heavily draped, an alcove; a haven against the word and their responsibility. Edward made a small move to stop, to reconsider, but Roy cupped a hand on the young alchemist's obvious bulge and sucked on his smooth neck. Edward quivered all over and Roy knew that he had won.

Clothes dropped as hands roved. Roy kept his movements slow, but sure, while Edward acted as if his touch could burn. The metal arm he kept well out of the way and Roy could see a hesitation, a shrinking of uncertainty.

Roy kissed a metal shoulder joint. He was braced and ready, but he didn't taste oil or the tanginess of metal. It smelled like Edward and tasted like nothing. Warm, smooth as silk, the unavoidable sound of gears and joints, but nothing else that made it something to avoid or dislike. The leg, too, was well shaped and joined so smoothly with the remainder of that leg that it seemed seamless. It gave Edward an odd beauty rather than detracted from it.

Edward was lean and strong, short, but with a promise that his frame might develop more muscle to compensate when he was older. His pale skin and golden hair was a wonderful contrast to the dark blankets and darker sheets of the bed. Roy enjoyed tumbling the young man into them and taking the lead as he placed Edward onto his back and stretched out beside him. He smiled. Edward looked embarrassed.

Roy didn't give Edward a chance to think. He squeezed one rounded hip and leaned in to suckle a pink nipple. It was rigid. Roy wrapped his tongue around it and heard Edward draw in a sharp breath in pleasure.

Things grew heated then. They rolled, rubbed, suckled, and licked every inch of each other. Roy guided Edward and Edward, after some reluctance still, began to follow his lead with more and more abandon. When Roy took out the lube, he saw that Edward wasn't such an innocent that he didn't know what it meant.

Roy licked up Edward's throat. "Yes, or no?" he asked against Edward's pulse beat. He pushed Edward's legs apart and covered his fingers with the lube, waiting. When he brought those fingers to Edward's entrance and began playing there, Edward arched up and whimpered. "Yes, or no?" Roy asked again.

Edward didn't answer and that was answer enough. Roy carefully prepared him, patience itself, wanting it to be as painless as possible; wanting Edward to see the price he was paying for his quest, the part of life that he had denied himself.

Roy was ready and so was Edward. The young man had his face turned away, as if he were studying the darkness, but his hands were latched onto the blankets. When Roy lifted his legs, he trembled and bit his lip. When Roy positioned himself between his legs and tried to find a way to keep Edward's metal leg from interfering, he raised it out wide himself, offering.

Roy felt an overwhelming emotion, then, that was both possessive and loving. Having Edward sprawled out wide beneath him, wanting this, wanting him, was making his control fray at the edges. He bit his own lip, hard and began to push in. Careful... careful... slowly... Edward's face contorted and his metal hand rose to lock into Roy's hair as he forgot his control. The sharp tug of hair and the heavy feel of the metal against his skull, gave Roy the distraction he needed to check his own urges.

Roy sheathed himself. Edward whimpered again, panting.

"Feels... strange," Edward said through gritted teeth. "I - I've always wanted to know, though, what the other men were doing... "

Roy kissed his still turned away face and Edward swallowed hard and closed his eyes. "There's more," Roy said huskily and then began to pump his hips.

Edward was startled into a low cry and that metal hand almost took Roy's hair out by the roots. The metal leg he had out of the way, thudded hard into Roy's back and left marks, he was sure. He gasped in pain, but he wasn't about to stop now. The pleasure was far greater.

Edward grunted with every thrust, his face screwed up and his eyes still tightly closed. Roy didn't relent, didn't slow, and especially didn't show him mercy when Edward finally loosened. He rode Edward fast and furious, then, body slapping against body as he tried to bring Edward back from the brink that he was almost falling over in his denial of self.

They came almost togther, Edward first as he cried out sharply and shuddered, his human hand pushing between their bodies to stroke hard, and then Roy as he thrust as deep as he could manage, sheathing himself up to the hilt and riding his own orgasm as he gripped Edward and bit the side of the young man's neck.

They lay together afterward, tangled bodies sprawled across dark blankets. When they had both caught their breath, and their pulses had slowed to normal, Roy wasn't surprised when Edward rose and began dressing. He kept his back to Roy.

"Why?" Edward asked.

Roy understood the question. "It's easy to cut yourself off from things you've never experienced. It's even easier to give up on life when quests are done and you don't realize that there are other things to live for."

Edward's back stiffened. Did he know what Roy was offering?

"You've only made it harder," Edward complained bitterly, and then he was gone, the heavy canopy fluttering in his wake.

"Giving up your life should be," Roy replied to the empty room. 


End file.
